Health Stuff: Crohn's + IBS Diagnosis

Hello there and TGIF! 

I am going to start off with something that warms my heart every morning.

This beautiful golden retriever loves the train. She gets super excited, all over wiggles, when it comes into the station, and her owner brings her every morning to watch. And her rain coat today was just on point. #allthefeels for this duo.

I have been waiting a little while to write an update but finally have some good, and bad news. 

Towards the end of January as I was due for my Remicade infusion I started to feel not so great. I figured it was the Crohn’s and my body was ready for the infusion. Plus the stress from finding out my company is closing. I told my doc (new one at the practice my original one left and I decided to stay) and she mentioned my dose had been reduced from the max. 

When things weren’t getting better I assumed it was due to the dose being lowered. 

Insert blood tests, scopes and a ct scan later…and the good news is, the Remicade has knocked the life out of the disease! As in the doctor who did my CT asked if I was sure I had it. And considering how severe it was this time last year that is AMAZING news. 

Side note: I don’t think I will ever want lemonade again after having to drink like 100oz of this stuff:

The bad news is, as my GI suspected, I am now presenting with IBS (which isn’t all too uncommon with IBD patients). 

She put me on medication, Librax, which is supposed to help with the muscle spasms and I have to say I am feeling a little improvement. 

But, this also means learning trigger foods which shall be a giant (and not so fun) undertaking. 

I got VERY comfortable and felt so good for a while that I loosened up on my food “rules” (part of why I wasn’t really believing it was IBS vs a flare since this came out of the blue again) but now am reigning it all back in. 

I am doing research and linking up with the RD at my GI practice for some help, but I know it means backing off some veggies, very minimal lactose and sugar/processed foods. I won’t be going gluten free. Gluten has never been an issue for me and I have tested for celiac a couple times already. I don’t eat a ton anyway but I know that isn’t my problem.

I have a half marathon next weekend which I had high hopes for. At the moment I am not sure I will be able to race it if my gut is not cooperating so it may be more for fun but we shall see. 


At least I have a pretty new bright pair of Kinvara’s to run in. 

So there we have it.  I am bummed for something else to figure out but honestly I would rather this than to know my Crohn's is flaring. 

Working On Nutrition

Happy Friday to me! 

I am taking off tomorrow and couldn't be happier. I have a few weeks of vaca accrued (because apparently I like to hoard it all and realized I am close to a month and continually accruing) and am going to begin taking some much needed longer weekends and mental health days.

But anyways, back to the point. 

This week I took a step that I have been meaning to for quite some time. I finally had an appointment with an RDN, I went to the awesome people at Nutrition Energy.

This is a three fold situation, so I walked in with these goals:

• MOST importantly - start to address if I have food intolerance's that make my Crohn's worse. I am not in remission yet (that is for another time...) but I want to start looking to food and how it might be effecting my GI system now that I am at about 80%. As I told my awesome RDN Chris, I am so used to not feeling well that I don't know if it is Crohn's at this point all the time or some food choices are exacerbating GI distress. 
• I want to lose some more weight. I have managed to get down about 12 pounds and hold steady but I want to drop more. I am not "overweight" but I know I have some fat to lose. Not number focused but want to focus on more muscle/less fat. Maybe abs? (<-- lol probably not, ever)
• Eventually turn it into performance based nutrition guidance. I know I am not doing a full this fall BUT I would like to conquer some half's and I want to fine tune training and nutrition. But this is down the road. 

And boy did he listen to EVERYTHING. After almost 2 hours together I walked out with a plan to begin. 

It is just going back to the basic and listening to my body. Really paying attention to how I feel after eating certain foods. For example he was super surprised I eat a quest bar most days because they tend to hurt the stomach. Well, me, my stomach usually "hurts" to some degree. Is it the quest bar? or is it the Crohn's? (please god don't make me give them up). 

As far as weight loss - he gave me guidelines and it is back to macros for me - at a 50/25/25 split. He also gave me in terms of "exchanges" (i.e. 1 slice of bread = 1 carb exchange) and those targets. That will take some time to get the hang of. The goal is to bring him back my food diary from 2 weekdays / 1 weekend day. And, basically will be practicing 90/10 as far as wholesome/wine (bc summer and bubbly/rose which will be that 10% ;)

On our next appointment in a couple weeks we are going to do Metabolic Rate Testing (RMR) which I am SUPER excited about. I really want to know where my metabolism is at plus I am a numbers person and want to know that daily number. 

So after a couple days what I have I learned?

Holy undereating carbs batman. As in maybe 30% of my "normal" diet is carbs. Things that probably also explain my late night hunger that leads to binges. 

Also undereating calories. Struggle bus realizing I was at 1300 on a "normal" day. He has me at 1900. 

No wonder I am probably plateauing. (okay no I am holding steady at this weight because I have def loosened the eating reigns a little; while most days yes I am undereating I make up for it on my 2-3 meals out - I am lucky I didn't gain back any pounds!)

So I am focusing on adding back in more of the good carbs, quinoa, bulgar, brown rice etc. Also going to try and stop my quest bar breakfast habit. I hate breakfast and eating early (which he also said don't force it, and always just eat when officially hungry) and the quest bar is my bargain for getting something in me. Case and point I have been up since 5:30 and 3 hours later have not eaten anything and am fine. 

So that is where I am at. I feel lucky that my insurance is pretty darn great - I get unlimited visits to work with him and I am taking advantage. 

Yes, being more on top of my nutrition will be a pain in the ass but hopefully I get better at eyeballing the macros after a couple weeks. But for now, back to my fitness pal! 

Time to Lose Some Weight

I haven’t gone into too much depth on the blog about it but I know I have glossed over it in discussing running; my weight.

I grew up overweight and it escalated in college and after. It took me a few years post college but eventually I pulled it together and lost a huge chunk of weight ~70 pounds or so (not necessarily by healthy means). Then I moved to Hoboken and eventually put some back on yay drinking #allthenights.

The summer before I was turning 30 (birthday is January 28^th, I just turned yet another year older!) I saw some unflattering pictures and knew I wanted to get my shit together once and for all. This time around it wasn't just losing weight it was to stop partying and grow up a bit. I was tired of 2am ridiculous nights multiple times a week. Changing lifestyle completely was necessary to grow. 

Enter weight watchers. With the help of WW I got to a weight and body that I was pretty happy with and eventually transitioned to counting calories. However, since the end of 2012 I have put on about 10 pounds or so that I just cannot seem to get off. Clothes aren’t fitting as well, and just as importantly to me I have not run as well as I did that fall race season since putting on the weight.

It doesn’t make me unhappy per say but it annoys me. So last week I decided to bite the bullet and rejoin weight watchers. I have continued to track calories daily but am thinking maybe I need to go back to the points system and shake things up again. Doesn’t hurt to try right? Also my body has just been a mess with the IBD flare and as the medication is kicking in am hoping it is a good time to work on shedding the weight. 

My goal weight is actually 10 pounds or so below what I was a couple years ago which I don’t think is that crazy. The weight I got to last time around was just below the cut off for an "overweight" BMI - so I think I will possibly always be on the higher side of the "appropriate"weight for my height due to muscle but plan on having my body fat tested as well soon to focus more on that in the long haul. 

I am back to lifting pretty consistently and trying to build muscle so may not get there weight wise but I DEFINITELY have a layer of fat that needs to go. This isn’t me being judgey of myself, this is the truth. I am not comfortable in my skinny jeans! I will admit that I have negative body issue thoughts that creep in -  I don't know if I will ever fully negate those coming from being an overweight child to obese in my early adult hood - I definitely have a skewed image of what I look like at times.

Doesn’t hurt that I have back to back bachelorette weekends in the beginning of June to be bikini ready for either for some motivation.  Nothing like thoughts of lots of beach pictures hanging over your head to work on a goal. I am vain I can readily admit. 

So with my first weigh in I am down -3.8 pounds. Note I was DEFINITELY up on the initial weigh in due to having my period so I know I am less bloated for one but hoping for a consistent weight loss throughout. 

So here we go! And of course I picked the most fun week to begin tracking. Snow days, my Birthday plus the Super Bowl, figured challenge myself as much as possible off the bat, right? 

Health Update: Still Searching for Answers

It’s been a while since I began yet again on the journey to figure out what the hell is wrong with me so figured I would update! Skip this post if you don’t have any desire to read about my troubles :)

So here we are 5 weeks since I started with my new GI doctor and basically – there is nothing conclusive.

I had the colonoscopy which showed inflammation, ulcers, and a polyp but finally received the biopsy result and he is unwilling to say it is IBD (Crohn’s or UC). On the other hand, the symptoms are too severe to be in line with IBS.

My state of mind right now is frustrated. On Friday when we spoke on the results I had a minor breakdown. After the colonoscopy and seeing just how bad the inflammation was he put me one anti-inflammatory. That worked wonders for a week and a half and then miraculously stopped and all my symptoms returned with a vengeance. I am still taking that but he is ordering another high dose medication to take in conjunction to see if that helps. Both medications are IBD specific since my symptoms are pretty much in line with that. But as he put it, I may be in the infancy of developing it. (Side note: if this is the infancy of IBD I do not want to know what full blown is like because I am miserable already)

I know people are thinking they are helpful – throwing out I should do this “diet” or that, that I am too stressed (but seriously do you know me? I am like the least stressed person ever). The things is, I have been documenting what I eat daily since 2011 (with some missed here and there but it’s a habit now) and my body will respond fine one day to something and then next flare up. Case and point I literally ate the same meals for week’s straight recently and I went from awful to a lot better to awful on the same diet.

I know it is my right to be emotional. It is my health that I am talking about, but sometimes I feel like it could be so much worse and I am overreacting. It is not as if this will kill me. It just makes my life miserable. But I have also learned how to cope. And know where ALL THE BATHROOMS are, life is sexy right now let me tell you. Want to know how fun it is to have to have a side bar with your bosses about why you might HAVE to run out of meetings? Yeah, that is life right now.

I think that was what got to me. I have been coping. Living life around the symptoms. Just got used to "this is how life will be". Then I decided to use the medical route again to find some answers. I scared myself with how not normal it was and thought I would have an answer. The why. And yet as of now, there is no "why". Just a plan to keep things under control. I despise taking medicine. So that is part of what has me upset now; being prescribed various medications, praying they will help but not knowing the absolute cause of all this.

On the upside – I have been back to running and while I feel like hell during the runs I have been making it through them all! It’s like my body knows how much I need it. But I am sticking to the treadmill for now, just in case, definitely too scared to take it outside.

Total downer of a post but kind of bummed out in general. Between not sleeping through a night for weeks and the anemia plus other deficiencies I am tired. I am hopeful this next medication will work and work permanently but it is wait and see for now. After being really upset Friday I am back at a little peace with it all at the moment. Obviously wish there was an answer but for now I will just take some symptom improvement. 

I'm also not sure if I should get a second opinion or not? So new to the whole doctor thing - so if anyone has a stellar GI doctor in the city they would recommend to review my results and history I am open to it to see if I get a different opinion! 

And with that, the end. Happy post to come next! 

GI Health Updates

If there was ever a week I was ready to have end it is this week!

Started out with a move Monday that was more painful than it needed to be (and reminded me why I hadn’t moved in several years) but that is for another day – I will share some of the new apartment as it is coming together!

Tuesday I had an appointment with GI doctor number 3.

And I am thinking third time is a charm. I didn’t like the first two AT ALL. I walked away thinking they had no interest in helping me find out what was going on and were prescription happy vs. diagnosis.

My new doctor listened to it all. Spent a solid half hour with me. Everything I have been going through for the past few years. And HE was concerned about my quality of life and how I have just been dealing with it and have learned how to work around it. And anxious to help figure out what is going on. I told him my primary doc was thinking IBD and of course he said for my sake he hoped that it wasn’t since that lives with you forever.

My opinion – honestly I just want to KNOW. If it is then we deal with it. If it isn’t I hope we just get to the bottom of it.

So what does this mean?

Well of course he sucked my blood out while I was there. He told me to stop the whole gluten free thing if it was making me feel worse (and is testing for celiac although he doesn’t think that is anything to do with it – I was abstaining from gluten for only a short period of time prior so hoping that the test doesn’t lose validity).

And what I was waiting for – the joys of a colonoscopy.

Tomorrow.

So I am now in the fasting portion of it all. And definitely cannot wait to start the prep (sarcasm in case you are wondering).

I actually really don’t care or mind. Considering how awful things have been I actually kind of can’t wait. I am feeling like I am one step closer to a diagnosis.

So here’s hoping that my Christmas gift is figuring out what the hell is going on with me! 

One Week Down: Gluten & Dairy Free

For starters: seriously anyone that willingly goes gluten & dairy free without medical necessity is bonkers.

Because, pizza. Sandwiches. Bacon egg and cheeses. Cupcakes. Ramen. BEER.

The list goes on.

Now I know that there are gluten free and dairy substitutions but especially with my carb fav’s I am not trying to eat crap that is made gluten free – because a lot of it is just that, crap. And devoid of nutrition.

The dairy thing I am better with because I had been trying for a long time to limit it.

So let’s see, I am now a week in and I think the main thing is that I am eating better. If for nothing else this has aided me in stopping my boredom binge eating because well, the things that I would mindlessly eat aren’t permitted anymore.

I’ve dropped a couple pounds which is a plus because I have some extra that I am in need of shedding (or errrr like 10 pounds that really need to go).

As far as feeling any improvement with my GI issues. Not going to lie, it is worse. Probably times 5. Most likely because I am in veggie overdrive and the extra fiber is wreaking havoc but it’s been pretty painful and not fun.

It has also really only been a week this is a process that will take time.

I really am more just being a brat about some stuff. It is the convenience that is more of a hassle. I learned the hard way traveling needs to be done with your own food there won’t be too much at the airports. Also I’m in the process of moving and it is harder to find quick grab and go options. But it is what it is. Need to plan and be prepared.

On the plus obviously lots more fruits and veggies. I discovered quinoa pasta and am a fan – totally filled my wanting #allthecarbs fix post workout Saturday. And even though my stomach FEELS like hell – I am way less bloated.

I foresee this helping me clean up my diet and be more cognizant of what I am eating. I have a problem with binge eating and take away those things that trigger it and the problem starts to disappear as does the urge.

I would like to hear from others for any good bloggers/websites for gluten/dairy free. Favorite recipes, restaurants etc. open to it all! 

Just 2 months and 3 weeks to see if any of this helps clear things up. 

Le sigh. 

A Week of Highs and Lows

Boy was this past week an emotional rollercoaster! It is amazing how many highs I hit followed by some lows. The good news is that the good stuff severely outweighs the "bad" (and really not that BAD) and I am in pretty high spirits.


So let's discuss this jam packed week.


The good:

• Dinner with the President of my company - I was so thrilled to get these few hours of time with her. She is pretty amazing and extremely open. The only thing she asked of us she invited (there were 4) was that we be open and honest. Done and done.
• Annual review (actually FIRST review since I have been there - and I started March 2013) which couldn't have gone any better. Management gave me a glowing review and we talked about the direction I am going to go professionally the next couple of years and basically, good things are going to come. Happy because I have worked my tail off and it is recognized.
• I SIGNED MY LEASE - and am moving from Jersey to Queens! SO EXCITED. There was a super stressful 24 hours after applying fretting I wouldn't get approved and would be homeless (lol) but got accepted to all apartments I applied for so had my choice of what I wanted. (sorry to anyone who I snapped at during that 24 hour period, my bad).
• I will group this in: I am heading to Florida for Thanksgiving and a week with my family. I am so so so ready for a little getaway and warm weather. I am over winter and it hasn't even begun yet.

The bad:

• As stated in my previous post, I have to go gluten and dairy free for 3 months. My initial reaction: make the cheesiest pasta I could for dinner. Mature, I know. December 1st it's on.

• Decide with marathon #3 on the horizon next week to go to the podiatrist because my foot has hurt for a while now. Diagnosis: stress fracture - that is weeks old since it showed on an x-ray and a potential new one. Also tendinitis. Let's just say I am not running 26.2 on 11/30. Bummed but I've known something was wrong for a while. I prefer to tough things out but my gut told me to not run this marathon and get an opinion. So I've gained a lovely new fashionable boot. At least it is keeping my foot warm, right?

It really was a rollercoaster of emotions this week but I have to say I am so so so happy about the move that everything else is...just whatever. I have been wanting to move from Hoboken, and into my own place for a LONG time now (I've been in the same apartment since 2007 and have roommates) I am desperate to be on my own. I have a ginormous new place - and will be moved in just in time for the holidays!

And I think with the boot on and all that I can safely say I am a little over marathons at the moment. I am happy to step away and look at other goals. I am not happy with my body so am going to be hitting the weights/barre/yoga a lot more (and am cleared for all that with the foot, just no running or crazy jumping etc.) but that is all for another post.

In the words of Olaf: All good things!

I Knew This Was Coming

If you have read any of my posts, follow me on Twitter or Instagram or we are Facebook friends then you at some point have undoubtedly read about my “bathroom woes”.

Long ago I went to a doctor who was super unhelpful and didn’t make any sort of diagnosis.

I’ve continued to go through cycles of torture for the past 3 years or so. Months of being fine followed by months of being in pain and having my quality of life drastically effected (as in must know where ALL the bathrooms are at all times).

Basically this go ‘round started up again the first week of October and has been awful since. This is what I am dealing with (might be TMI but well kind of too late for that!): either constipation or diarrhea, lots of blood, constant bloating and gassiness and always feeling like I have to go. I haven’t been “normal” in the bathroom since the weekend prior to Chicago. It sucks. A lot.

After that dreadful Chicago I made an appointment but work and life kept getting in the way and I kept rescheduling until I finally forced myself to go last night.

I then got quite the stern lecture. I know what is happening is not normal, I mean hello blood all the time, but how many people want to have intimate conversations regarding their gut and going to the bathroom? (okay can’t lie I am very open with my sisters about it but you know, SISTERS).

So she is sending me on my merry way to a new GI doctor and I know I am in for a colonoscopy (does the fun ever end?) and she said most definitely an IBS or IBD diagnosis (which I have suspected for a long time).

We talked about what could be done in the meantime – since most likely post diagnosis they will start me on some sort of drug regime – which leads me to what I knew was coming and avoiding – trying out going gluten free and dairy free for a minimum of 3 months and taking probiotic (align).

I have always maintained that gluten has no issue with me. But then again I have never avoided it. Because, HELLO all the good foods and I know I don’t have an allergy so I thought being gluten free was silly.

But it is time to embrace it. See if it helps. So as of December 1^st (sorry I plan on enjoying Thanksgiving with my family in Florida and have a marathon 11/30 and will eat what I normally do prior #allthegluten) I will go on the gluten/dairy free bandwagon.

I do think I am sensitive to dairy and do avoid it a lot but this time, all in. Sigh.

But first I shall go on a pasta and pizza eating, beer drinking, ice cream consuming binge (and yes I know there are gluten and dairy free versions of EVERYTHING but it is like my last supper – or just an excuse to be a glutten).

And I will definitely be soliciting advice of those who are knowledgeable. I know this isn’t the end of the world but still sad pants.

But the good news is if it doesn’t make me feel any better I can jump right back on the gluten train…March 1^st. 

Being Honest With Myself: Cleaning up the Diet

I don't think that it is any secret that after NYCM I was pretty much just done. I was tired of training, tired of being good, I was ready to kind of let loose and enjoy the holidays and a little bit of what I like to call "being a fatty". 

I do not see anything wrong with indulging a little bit especially when you are highly active aka marathon training but due to undiagnosed stomach "issues" I stay away from high fat, red meat, and oily food as well as a lot of sugar in my diet. I do it because if I do not my runs will be miserable, and I will have stomach pains and never make it through a run without a stop. 

So after several weeks of a little too much mac n cheese, wings, burgers, beer, wine and tequila (all of which were thoroughly enjoyed thank you very much), I started finally really running again. And, my runs were brutal. I was riddled with stomach issues and just felt incredibly sluggish. I was well aware of the culprit, my diet. Diet goes hand in hand with my training. I will never be one that can eat like shit and bang out an amazing double digit run. I can do that more with an alcohol hangover, but not a food one. I also have managed to gain a few pounds over the past year. Nothing drastic but I have been feeling it in my clothes and my workouts. 

I had a hard look at myself and realized if I wanted to really start back at base building and feeling fit that I needed to clean up my diet. So I did the one thing that I said I would never ever do. I decided to turn to juices; specifically Juice Press. Now, I had no intention of stopping my workouts as I was ramping them up at the moment, so I choose to start juicing during the day, and then normal meals at dinner & snack. 

Juice Press has all my money

And let me tell you, I have never felt more phenomenal. I decided to do it during the week the first week then stop on the weekends because I go a little nuts as you can see on the weekends. Saturdays I do body pump, then run a shakeout, then take a flywheel class. Juice will not cut it. Nor will it for long run Sundays. 

Typical Saturday <3

On the weekend though, I can genuinely say I was MISSING the juices. I think I have been converted. 

So here we are week 3 of incorporating a lot of juice into my diet. Due to a lot of work obligations I have been going on business lunches so I am not necessarily juicing all day through to dinner but I am still making the healthy choices of lean meats and veggies instead of oh burgers and fries and all that jazz. And I am finally feeling so much better. 

My stomach hasn't had issues much lately and my energy is crazy. I have stopped drinking the 100 ounces or so of coffee I used to during the day (I will never EVER give up coffee, sorry not convinced) but I swear green juice gives me way more energy. I am also down a couple of pounds. However that probably is hand in hand with the fact that I am taking 3 body pump classes per week and running a lot more miles now. My workout intensity has increased as my eats have cleaned up so it isn't rocket science that the scale would start to move. But I am also not being a slave to my scale. There is more value in running a faster pace and for longer as well as upping my weights consistently - hello arms that are getting defined again!

So the moral of the story is as fun as it was to go totally off and enjoy whatever I wanted for a while, I love the way I feel when I am "behaving". I am back to bed early getting at least 7 hours most nights and waking up naturally before my alarm at 5 something. I love having a schedule again and feeling like the best version of myself. 

And I love when I underestimate my running as I did this morning as I set out for some fun repeats and well I thought I would be dying and started out at 8:34 and was cruising. That was a good feeling to know I should have begun sub 8 that my fitness is returning. 

Repeats for breakfast.

To sum it up, I'm back! And ready to train for real. 

Diet Changes = Improvement

I have stomach issues, that is pretty much evident in 95% of my posts.

So, finally last week I really decided it was time to buckle down and work on these stomach issues. I don't know why (okay, I do, I hate being on any sort of limiting "diet") but it was about time to get super serious since this was debilitating during my runs.

According to the Mayo Clinic: to reduce bloating, it may help to avoid or reduce the amount of gas-producing foods you eat. Many carbohydrates cause gas, and the following items are common culprits:

• Baked beans
• Broccoli
• Brussels sprouts
• Cabbage
• Carbonated drinks
• Cauliflower
• Chewing gum
• Fruits such as apples, peaches and pears
• Hard candy
• Lettuce

I would like to note that is half my daily diet. Throw in ground turkey and grilled chicken and that list is what I eat in the majority of my meals. Sigh.

Is it odd just how sad I am about losing broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower and apples? Tell me not to eat fried food, chocolate and alcohol (which I pretty much never do) and I wouldn't bat an eye. But losing my favorite fruits and veggies has me dragging my feet.

I am mostly dairy free already - I use almond milk and cheese is pretty much non existent in my diet now (and I do buy the almond cheese which I weirdly love); I do usually have a serving of greek yogurt each day and am going to keep that while I eliminate the other veggies/fruits.

I used to track religiously in MyFitnessPal. Like obsessively track. Where I had to finally cut myself off from it because it was making me neurotic.

However, I am SO thankful that I did - because it enabled me to go back to when I was not having issues and recreate what WAS working for me.

Minus the fact that I was indulging in said foods above a couple things that I noted were:

• More frequent and smaller meals
• More protein
• Carb sources more from grains than vegetable
• One hell of a lot less "cheating"
• Nighttime snacking was at a minimum

I have taken those things into account as well as eliminated the offenders above as of last Thursday/Friday - and - dare I start to contemplate - it seems to be having a positive effect.

Sunday the 15 miler had it's moments of disaster - but as I pointed out they weren't AS bad as they have been in the past.

This week, thus far I have had 4 runs - and I not only made it through EACH and every without incident (holler at a 6 miler last night) BUT I completed EACH workout following - lifting and/or swimming - without running to the bathroom in the middle.

I am optimistic.

And this optimism I am hoping carries over to my running. I have been in serious doubt mode lately for my running ability and a lot stems from all of this that was going on.

While I hate to be on a "diet" because this one is seriously limiting and redundent (but hey I was at my fittest and fastest last fall when following...so yay for things to come?) I am pretty sure I hate practically shitting my pants more (yes, I went there).

About 3 1/2 weeks out now from the NJ Marathon, and by golly I *may* be starting to get optimistic about it.

Stay tuned. 18-20 miler on tap this weekend (mixed into the More Fitness Women's Half Marathon) and I may not be dreading it quite as much as I was before...more dreading Harlem Hill x2.

Stomach + Running = Fail.

So I know I have mentioned in several posts all of the stomach issues I have.

Recently they have just come to a head and I am so frustrated. It is not only disheartening to not know the full potential you could have reached in a race - but also to have it totally interfere with your training.

I have been alright with needing to stop during training runs to use the bathroom. I have long accepted that no, I cannot just ignore it and will it away, I genuinely NEED to stop. I haven't been as strict with my eating since the marathon so I know that there have been times I go into a run with the knowledge that I will probably have to stop.

But Sunday. Oh Sunday.

I needed to get a 20 miler in. 18 at least. I am running out of time before the NJ Marathon and need the time on my feet.

Enter the worst run of my life.

First off I set out outside and it was pretty windy. Ever since the half last weekend, I am SO OVER the wind.

I was doing alright though just kind of started to frolick around Hoboken. With 20 miles to cover I planned on doing a LOT of frolicking around town.

Around mile 4 my stomach started to churn.

It hurt prior to starting the run - so I had 3 Kashi waffles plain before and then waited almost 2 hours just to make sure I was alright.

I was not.

Thankfully I was able to make my way closer to home and made a quick dash for the bathroom.

I was 6 miles in. Argh. I was NOT FEELING this run. I did not want to run anymore. I had some Nuun and a gel because I knew I needed it and set out the door.

The second I started running I knew it was over with my stomach. So I made the smartest decision and ran the few blocks to my gym to hit the treadmill.

I made it in 3 mile increments. Every time I tried to even drink water I had to stop. Around mile 12 I started to get cramps, and knew I was dehydrated and it would be better to throw in the towel soon than push. I finally made it to 15 and called it a day.

Totally frustrated. And pretty defeated.

Now on the bright side, I manage 3 miles yesterday and 2 this morning without incident! Yay. BUT. I like half marathons. I enjoy the challenge of fulls now (enjoy may be over reaching haha). And a couple miles is not going to cut it.

Sigh.

So I am seriously scaling back on what I eat. Going very basic and mundane. I swear this time.

The worst part is, there is not officially 'wrong' with me. I have been to the doctor to try and see if there is...but nothing. That was a couple years back and may be time to explore again since this is really impacting me. I am getting very dehydrated and really cramping badly. And am borderline anemic before (and not to be graphic, but there is blood...yes so sexy. I love describing my symptoms to doctors) and this might be why I get dizzy at times.

The hard part is that it comes and goes. It seemed to go away for a while last year when I was super strict with my eats. So, that is my immediate course of action. Fingers crossed that there is some relief.

Starting this weekend I have a race every one through June and just want to be able to enjoy them. I want to be able to RACE if I feel like it (many are integrated into training runs for the marathon).

I know things could be oh so much worse but I am just seriously tired of dealing with this. And this holding me back.

Dessert Me!

Lately I have totally been struggling with my night time eating.

My day eats are pretty perfect. A solid breakfast, usually a big salad of greens + protein for lunch and then a decent snack before leaving.

Then I get home and all bets are off. I am sure it is a combination of waking up even earlier lately because I now have to be in an hour earlier...so alarm is going off any time from 4:15-4:45 to workout. Then at work for usually 12 hours without much time for a break. I am super busy so my mind is just in over drive.

But I am really feeling these night time binges and I am not amused.

So I had to sit back and remember what has worked for me in the past as far as keeping it under control.

And that was when I remembered about this oldie but goodie which is a favorite of mine. And oh so filling and oh so big! And boy am I a "volume" eater.

Enter this lovely Chocolate Protein Muffin!

Fresh out - and steaming!

Now this is a pretty basic recipe with a LOT of wiggle room to alter it to what you are looking for or have in your kitchen.

2 T of flour - I like coconut but use whole wheat when I out
1/2 - 1 T protein powder (works without though!)
2 egg whites
1/4 pumpkin (today I used sweet potato puree! also mashed banana, apple sauce)
1 T cocoa powder
1/2 t baking soda
a few drops liquid stevia (or other sweetener)

Today I also added cinnamon and vanilla extract for a little more sweetness.

Also as you can see to the batter I diced up a couple of strawberries and threw in some blueberries.

Mix all ingredients together and then pour in a bowl that you have sprayed with cooking spray so that it slides right on out.

Microwave for about 3 minutes (today took about 4 probably because of the berries).

Slide that baby on out of the dish, and if like me you want to top it with something. Today I added just plain chobani, but I will make a protein fluff, heat up some almond butter or pb2 or you know, chocolate syrup for extra chocolately goodness!

Like I said this recipe is HIGHLY customizeable! You can do it without the cocoa if you don't want chocolate, I have added a dollop of almond butter to the batter for some oozy goodness, put chocolate chips in there...the possibilities are endless based on what you have to work with.

And not to mention, this baby is HUGE. My bowl that I used is probably about 3 inches in diameter so that is a good size.

If you try it out let me know what you think! Healthy dessert in a few minutes...there is nothing bad about that!