Sunday, July 19, 2015

A - Z Survey

Because I need some help these days blogging. And anyone who actually reads this deserves more than me bitching about my Crohn's problems. Not sure this is any better BUT enjoy ;)
A – Age: 34. I do not think I am old, but some times I sit here and am like wait, 34? I feel years younger. Life moves way too fast.

B – Biggest Fear: Failure. As in professional. I have spent my life working my ass off between college and graduate school. My career path is a bit crooked and I fell into the field of TV news 2 1/2 years ago and now have plans for network domination. Slight exaggeration. Kind of. Not really. Career aspirations have always been to be at the top previously it was in event planning and now it is in news. It will happen. The want for success has a fire under my ass. 
C – Current Time: 10:34pm. I don't know why I am still up. I have had the longest day ever. (edit: That was Friday night, it is now Sunday morning at 10:45, typical).
D – Drink You Had Last: Coke Zero. Some times I can't help the craving. Although lately it has been a few times a week. Oops. 
E – Easiest Person To Talk To: my Dad. We are basically the same person. He is calm, straight forward and rational. He is not emotional but he is empathetic. He is also very much like me in that he looks at the WHY behind things. He has been so phenomenal and supportive with my Crohn's diagnosis because we are both research and science oriented. I had one MAJOR phone meltdown in the beginning and he knew I just had to cry it out for a moment and didn't spend every subsequent conversation questioning my sanity (my poor mom on the other hand can't just let me be upset for 10 minutes and then realize I am over it and move on. I am a frustration crier). 
F – Favorite Song: SO MANY. I attach music to memories and can remember very specifically what was happening for so many songs. But one that just popped up on my playlist is from 1985: Survivor - The Search is Over and true story at 4 years old I declared this would be my wedding first dance song. God bless the man that ever marries me ;) 

G – Grossest Memory: I had a cyst on my tailbone that was basically the size of a baseball and had to be drained. Twice. Prior to surgery. I gag still thinking about it. It fascinated yet disgusted me at the same time. 
H – Hometown: Belmar, NJ is where I was born BUT moved to Warren, NJ when I was 9 and only spent summers in Belmar after so more consider Warren "home"
I – In Love With: at this very moment - how gloriously less humid these nights have been. No AC hasn't been an issue one bit! 

J – Jealous Of: non city life. My work and such requires big city living BUT some times I wish I could move to some small town in the country somewhere and live a simple slower paced life.
K – Kindest Person You Know: I have a few people in my life that are amazing can't call out just one.
L – Longest Relationship: My parents have been married 30 years! with a 17 year age difference. 
M – Middle Name: Nicole.
N – Number of Siblings: 2

O – One Wish: for the Crohns'ing stuff to end. and to feel 100%. too much to ask?
P – Person You Spoke To On The Phone Last: someone for work. never. ends. 

Q – Question You’re Always Asked: "why do you work out so much".

R – Reason To Smile: Life. No matter what, stop and realize that even when things are tough we are blessed to live the life we live in this country.
S – Song You Last Sang: Foo Fighters "Best of You" 
T – Time You Woke Up: 7:00am. After 4 5:00am days and long work days my body called mercy and tapped out of a morning workout.
U – Underwear Color: I am in pj's so do boy shorts count? Red.
V – Vacation Destination: I have not traveled at all. So basically the world.

W – Worst Habit: chewing ice. I only do it at home but my dad the dentist berates me constantly. Plus it is annoying. On the other side, my hematologist said that chewing ice is a sign of anemia so maybe there is hope?!
X – X-Rays You’ve Had: hmm foot, nose and teeth. I think that is all?
Y – Your Favorite Food: I think it depends on the day. I get obsessed with something for a while then move on. Lately I am rather bored with all foods since I am trying to be nice to my gut. I suppose there is always peanut butter! 

Z – Zodiac Sign: Aquarius.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

TOL: Random Rambles

There shall be no rhyme or reason to what floats out of my head today! Welcome to some ramblings! Linking up again with Amanda for some TOL action! 

  1. How is it July 9th? I have no idea where this year has gone. And I feel like summer is going to be gone in the blink of an eye. I luckily have a little trip planned for the end of the month and am in one of my BFF's weddings at the end of August so still a lot to look forward to; but I feel like Labor Day will be here before we know it. 
  2. My daily weight fluctuation amuse me. Yes I weigh myself daily. Lately more to do with monitoring hydration when I run (my gym is basically the same temp as outdoors and I have been sweating buckets so trying to manage that). An example, I was 6 lbs lighter yesterday than today. I laugh. And I also laugh when others will be like: I lost x amount of pounds in a day. LOL. I want to give them a crash course in science. You didn't. 
  3. Does anyone else get anxiety when they have someone coming to clean their apartment about getting it clean before they clean or is that just me? I am already a neat freak but I have my service coming tonight and had to make sure everything was perfect when I left this morning. I have issues, I readily admit this. I don't think I will ever be able to share a home with someone again. 
  4. Remember that wedding stress - now that I have basically paid for everything for them I am so less stressed. Now to just recoup and save so I can go on the cruise I want. Solo. Yup heard that right, I plan on taking a trip on my own and just relishing in doing whatever I want. Also if peeps have cruise advice send it my way. Never been! 
  5. My GI doc has finally decided I need to get IV iron infusions. I get super happy to get locked up with a needle for Remicade but this even makes me happier! I am f*cking exhausted 24/7 and after last weeks blood panels came back - my iron levels went down back to basically zero, and he has me going to a hematologist next week to begin the process (I've been on iron supplements for 6+ months but obviously not working + they cause GI distress not fun on top of already tons of it!). Dealing with anemia is no joke. I am vainly concerned with my hair loss I feel like I lose so much daily - I don't want to go bald. 
  6. So I am also back on PREDNISONE (and writing that reminded me to take it). Argh. But since remicade isn't fully working to remission they are hoping a short tapered dose does the trick. I have not lost my shit, YET, but I am hanging on by a thread and feel like a melt down is in the works :) 
  7. I have never been more thankful for work being busy. And my boss being so understanding. Seriously, I have the best boss. Between his trust in me at work and his attitude in making sure my health comes first, I am lucky. I have guilt on guilt over how much Crohn's has interfered with work and doctors appointments and just needing sick days but he has always said, whatever needs to be done, do. But like last week remicade was moved to 9am so I came in at 6am to make up those 3 hours I would be gone. Not the best move in retrospect because I exhausted myself (and probably contributed to being sick for the 4th) but that is just the Type A person in me coming out. 
  8. I am going strong on not giving into buying an AC unit for my apartment. At this point I look at that money and some of the things I want to do and am like, I will WIN! Gianna - 1, Summer - 0  I am just happy my hair is straightened so it air dries fantastically because blow drying is not happening. 
  9. I have been creeping up on the 30 mile mark for mileage per week and being that I am shackled to the treadmill I have finally started to add some "hill" work into my routine. Well, once. This week. And my legs felt the burn so let's hold off before we say this is becomes routine I suppose, lol. 
  10. I THINK I found the perfect dress for my sisters wedding. She is not having bridesmaids but my sister and I are her witnesses and she told us long and black and I found a FABULOUS Chan Luu from Calypso St. Barth - now waiting on it's arrival and if it fits. 
Luckily I am going to stop there for you, but I could go on and on and on. Hope everyone is having a fabulous week and hallelujah it is almost the weekend! 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

TOL: Running Without a Goal

Because I had so much fun last week rambling, I thought I would join up again with the Blog World today for a little thinking out loud!

After talking to my doctor yesterday at the beginning of my Remicade infusion I started to think about my future and running. 

I made a comment that I was grateful I could actually run and maybe my destiny was slow treadmill miles, and he said no, that would not be acceptable that we needed to get full remission. 

I feel kind of lost right now with no goal in mind. 

I am so used to having some sort of end game for why I am running that it seems odd my race calendar has been totally empty for months. 

Minus this beauty, the Brew Mile, which I am sure is just perfect for my not really drinking lately self! 

I am working on having a solid base built for the if and when I can train but I really don't know what my goal will be. 

I do know after a couple years and 5 marathons + 1 ultra marathon that I am really not wanting to do that for a little while. 

Then I think I want to focus on some fall half marathons but honestly training pretty much knowing you have no hopes of a PR (1:53) is kind of sad (or is that just super competitive me being a brat?). Even in order to snag some PR's in shorter distances requires 8 min miles or so. 

I very much enjoy running and am not going to stop just because I don't have a goal in mind but it would be nice to work toward something. Lately I have felt my legs have a lot to give if only my whole body would cooperate and just let me run...without needing to run to the bathroom ;) 

I have tried to integrate more non running things into my life. I attempted to jump on the yoga bandwagon - that didn't last. I go in and out of love for group fitness classes - I think that lately is more due to not wanting to be constrained to their schedules (I've been coming into work really early lately so I can try and be out by 4 - doesn't always work that I can leave, but I try!). I just always come back to running. 

I guess any fall races will be determined by if and when I am feeling like I can actually run outside. I hate summer running and the humidity but I love that it is so good for training. 

Right now I am just embracing the miles as I run them and am hopefully soon enough I can hit that register button on a race!