Recently they have just come to a head and I am so frustrated. It is not only disheartening to not know the full potential you could have reached in a race - but also to have it totally interfere with your training.
I have been alright with needing to stop during training runs to use the bathroom. I have long accepted that no, I cannot just ignore it and will it away, I genuinely NEED to stop. I haven't been as strict with my eating since the marathon so I know that there have been times I go into a run with the knowledge that I will probably have to stop.
But Sunday. Oh Sunday.
I needed to get a 20 miler in. 18 at least. I am running out of time before the NJ Marathon and need the time on my feet.
Enter the worst run of my life.
First off I set out outside and it was pretty windy. Ever since the half last weekend, I am SO OVER the wind.
I was doing alright though just kind of started to frolick around Hoboken. With 20 miles to cover I planned on doing a LOT of frolicking around town.
Around mile 4 my stomach started to churn.
It hurt prior to starting the run - so I had 3 Kashi waffles plain before and then waited almost 2 hours just to make sure I was alright.
I was not.
Thankfully I was able to make my way closer to home and made a quick dash for the bathroom.
I was 6 miles in. Argh. I was NOT FEELING this run. I did not want to run anymore. I had some Nuun and a gel because I knew I needed it and set out the door.
The second I started running I knew it was over with my stomach. So I made the smartest decision and ran the few blocks to my gym to hit the treadmill.
I made it in 3 mile increments. Every time I tried to even drink water I had to stop. Around mile 12 I started to get cramps, and knew I was dehydrated and it would be better to throw in the towel soon than push. I finally made it to 15 and called it a day.
Totally frustrated. And pretty defeated.
Now on the bright side, I manage 3 miles yesterday and 2 this morning without incident! Yay. BUT. I like half marathons. I enjoy the challenge of fulls now (enjoy may be over reaching haha). And a couple miles is not going to cut it.
Sigh.
So I am seriously scaling back on what I eat. Going very basic and mundane. I swear this time.
The worst part is, there is not officially 'wrong' with me. I have been to the doctor to try and see if there is...but nothing. That was a couple years back and may be time to explore again since this is really impacting me. I am getting very dehydrated and really cramping badly. And am borderline anemic before (and not to be graphic, but there is blood...yes so sexy. I love describing my symptoms to doctors) and this might be why I get dizzy at times.
The hard part is that it comes and goes. It seemed to go away for a while last year when I was super strict with my eats. So, that is my immediate course of action. Fingers crossed that there is some relief.
Starting this weekend I have a race every one through June and just want to be able to enjoy them. I want to be able to RACE if I feel like it (many are integrated into training runs for the marathon).
I know things could be oh so much worse but I am just seriously tired of dealing with this. And this holding me back.
