It’s been a while since I began yet again on the journey to figure out what the hell is wrong with me so figured I would update! Skip this post if you don’t have any desire to read about my troubles :)
So here we are 5 weeks since I started with my new GI doctor and basically – there is nothing conclusive.
I had the colonoscopy which showed inflammation, ulcers, and a polyp but finally received the biopsy result and he is unwilling to say it is IBD (Crohn’s or UC). On the other hand, the symptoms are too severe to be in line with IBS.
My state of mind right now is frustrated. On Friday when we spoke on the results I had a minor breakdown. After the colonoscopy and seeing just how bad the inflammation was he put me one anti-inflammatory. That worked wonders for a week and a half and then miraculously stopped and all my symptoms returned with a vengeance. I am still taking that but he is ordering another high dose medication to take in conjunction to see if that helps. Both medications are IBD specific since my symptoms are pretty much in line with that. But as he put it, I may be in the infancy of developing it. (Side note: if this is the infancy of IBD I do not want to know what full blown is like because I am miserable already)
I know people are thinking they are helpful – throwing out I should do this “diet” or that, that I am too stressed (but seriously do you know me? I am like the least stressed person ever). The things is, I have been documenting what I eat daily since 2011 (with some missed here and there but it’s a habit now) and my body will respond fine one day to something and then next flare up. Case and point I literally ate the same meals for week’s straight recently and I went from awful to a lot better to awful on the same diet.
I know it is my right to be emotional. It is my health that I am talking about, but sometimes I feel like it could be so much worse and I am overreacting. It is not as if this will kill me. It just makes my life miserable. But I have also learned how to cope. And know where ALL THE BATHROOMS are, life is sexy right now let me tell you. Want to know how fun it is to have to have a side bar with your bosses about why you might HAVE to run out of meetings? Yeah, that is life right now.
I think that was what got to me. I have been coping. Living life around the symptoms. Just got used to "this is how life will be". Then I decided to use the medical route again to find some answers. I scared myself with how not normal it was and thought I would have an answer. The why. And yet as of now, there is no "why". Just a plan to keep things under control. I despise taking medicine. So that is part of what has me upset now; being prescribed various medications, praying they will help but not knowing the absolute cause of all this.
On the upside – I have been back to running and while I feel like hell during the runs I have been making it through them all! It’s like my body knows how much I need it. But I am sticking to the treadmill for now, just in case, definitely too scared to take it outside.
Total downer of a post but kind of bummed out in general. Between not sleeping through a night for weeks and the anemia plus other deficiencies I am tired. I am hopeful this next medication will work and work permanently but it is wait and see for now. After being really upset Friday I am back at a little peace with it all at the moment. Obviously wish there was an answer but for now I will just take some symptom improvement.
I'm also not sure if I should get a second opinion or not? So new to the whole doctor thing - so if anyone has a stellar GI doctor in the city they would recommend to review my results and history I am open to it to see if I get a different opinion!
And with that, the end. Happy post to come next!