Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Obligatory End of Year Post

Probably sounds like a broken records since everyone is saying it by now, but where did the year go?!

I seriously feel like it was just yesterday that I rang in 2014 and was getting ready for SOTU (State of the Union - big beginning of year deal in the news world!) oh and my birthday since they fell on the same day last year!

The end of this year has been kind of crazy. 

I'm in the middle of dealing with doctors and procedures and all that jazz trying to get some sort of diagnosis on my GI issues (minor update as I still await biopsy results - the first med I am on has helped like, tremendously, thank god.)

I finished NYCM with a stress fracture and tendinitis and had my first boot experience. I hated it. 

Found out I was having my rent hiked by almost 50% per month and high tailed my ass out of Hoboken and to Queens! I want to give an update on all that but still putting together my new place. It is SO BIG. and SO empty still. So much space to decorate (I know such a problem, but it is, for my wallet!). But it's been 2 weeks and I LOVE my new town. 

At work it is kind of turmoil. I mean it usually is total craziness but the head of my department basically left unannounced and there are 5,000 changes happening right now so umm, happy holidays? enjoy no time off basically lol. 

On the upside I have begun running again!

On the downside - I am sorry all the cross training in the world does not keep you in running form. It is hard and I am slow as a snail. But I am running! And returning smartly. 

Running wise I wanted to enjoy this year. I mostly did. I ran what I wanted. I didn't necessarily have any stellar performances but I was not setting myself up to. I thought I could possibly PR the marathon but then Chicago was spent in every bathroom every mile, and the conditions on race day for NYCM took that thought before the start line. I am satisfied how it went. 

I must be real and realize that I am AT LEAST 8 pounds over my race weight when I was PR'ing the crap in every distance every other weekend 2 years back plus haven't put in the strength training I did back then. Plus all the stomach issues. I'm not there. I plan on working to actually get back down to a better weight and all that jazz. I just haven't felt like it but now my jeans want me to. 

I'm just kind of rambling but basically - 2014 has been pretty good to me. 

Professionally I grew a lot and had a lot of positive changes in my personal life. I feel like I GREW UP a lot this year and that is a good feeling. Running wise and physically - kind of stagnant. But running will always be there I just didn't have the heart to train HARD. I just put in what I wanted/needed in order to get through the races. 

I have thoughts on how I am setting up 2015 but one thing I know: I WILL NOT run a marathon. 

If I sign up for one someone punch me. Unless I have a massive PR in the half in spring that is not my goal (and in 3 months I will not be running in the low 1:50's to get that I guarantee).

So happy new year all! Hope the holidays have treated you well and you ring in the new year with the ones you love! 

Monday, December 22, 2014

It's Not All in My Head

Finally starting to get some answers. I swear I feel like finding a doctor who will listen, seems genuinely invested in figuring out a diagnosis and is not dismissive or medication happy is more than half the battle. 

As much as one does not WANT to have a colonoscopy, I was excited that he wanted one immediately. 

I was scaring the crap (lol) out of myself reading horrors of prep. Minus the fact that the drink has scarred me of anything grape flavored and maybe curbed my salt cravings for a while; let’s just say it was not anything like some of my worst days are. And fasting was surprisingly easy (once I left work that is). 

I waited for an eternity for my appointment. I had arrived the requisite 45 minutes prior for intake and then was finally taken back an hour and a half past my scheduled appointment time. From there it was a breeze as I was soon prepped, put under anesthesia and waking up in recovery. Best nap ever. 

A few minutes after I woke he came back to talk to me. 

And as I suspected, there is a lot going on: proctitis (a lot of inflammation and why I am constantly running to the bathroom), a large polyp they removed (and he said count my lucky stars I needed this at 33 because that is not something you want hanging out until you are 50) and a lot of long ulcers in my colon which could be indicative of Crohn's disease. 

Of course he refused to diagnose anything on the spot – awaiting biopsy, and blood results still. 

He said Crohn’s and my heart kind of stopped for a minute. I know something is wrong and on one hand I feel validated for the findings that they illustrate definitively how awful I have been feeling. But, I selfishly do not want to have to deal with a lifetime of keeping something under control. 

I got home cried for a few minutes and then pulled it together and won't dwell until I see him again and he makes an official diagnosis. 

I know that this is not the end of the world, and I do want answers as well as a course of treatment to help better what I have been going through.

So that is where I am at for now.

Time will tell but for now feel one step significantly closer to finding out what is really wrong. 

Thursday, December 18, 2014

GI Health Updates

If there was ever a week I was ready to have end it is this week!

Started out with a move Monday that was more painful than it needed to be (and reminded me why I hadn’t moved in several years) but that is for another day – I will share some of the new apartment as it is coming together!

Tuesday I had an appointment with GI doctor number 3.

And I am thinking third time is a charm. I didn’t like the first two AT ALL. I walked away thinking they had no interest in helping me find out what was going on and were prescription happy vs. diagnosis.

My new doctor listened to it all. Spent a solid half hour with me. Everything I have been going through for the past few years. And HE was concerned about my quality of life and how I have just been dealing with it and have learned how to work around it. And anxious to help figure out what is going on. I told him my primary doc was thinking IBD and of course he said for my sake he hoped that it wasn’t since that lives with you forever.

My opinion – honestly I just want to KNOW. If it is then we deal with it. If it isn’t I hope we just get to the bottom of it.

So what does this mean?

Well of course he sucked my blood out while I was there. He told me to stop the whole gluten free thing if it was making me feel worse (and is testing for celiac although he doesn’t think that is anything to do with it – I was abstaining from gluten for only a short period of time prior so hoping that the test doesn’t lose validity).

And what I was waiting for – the joys of a colonoscopy.


So I am now in the fasting portion of it all. And definitely cannot wait to start the prep (sarcasm in case you are wondering).

I actually really don’t care or mind. Considering how awful things have been I actually kind of can’t wait. I am feeling like I am one step closer to a diagnosis.

So here’s hoping that my Christmas gift is figuring out what the hell is going on with me! 

Monday, December 8, 2014

One Week Down: Gluten & Dairy Free

For starters: seriously anyone that willingly goes gluten & dairy free without medical necessity is bonkers.

Because, pizza. Sandwiches. Bacon egg and cheeses. Cupcakes. Ramen. BEER.

The list goes on.

Now I know that there are gluten free and dairy substitutions but especially with my carb fav’s I am not trying to eat crap that is made gluten free – because a lot of it is just that, crap. And devoid of nutrition.

The dairy thing I am better with because I had been trying for a long time to limit it.

So let’s see, I am now a week in and I think the main thing is that I am eating better. If for nothing else this has aided me in stopping my boredom binge eating because well, the things that I would mindlessly eat aren’t permitted anymore.

I’ve dropped a couple pounds which is a plus because I have some extra that I am in need of shedding (or errrr like 10 pounds that really need to go).

As far as feeling any improvement with my GI issues. Not going to lie, it is worse. Probably times 5. Most likely because I am in veggie overdrive and the extra fiber is wreaking havoc but it’s been pretty painful and not fun.

It has also really only been a week this is a process that will take time.

I really am more just being a brat about some stuff. It is the convenience that is more of a hassle. I learned the hard way traveling needs to be done with your own food there won’t be too much at the airports. Also I’m in the process of moving and it is harder to find quick grab and go options. But it is what it is. Need to plan and be prepared.

On the plus obviously lots more fruits and veggies. I discovered quinoa pasta and am a fan – totally filled my wanting #allthecarbs fix post workout Saturday. And even though my stomach FEELS like hell – I am way less bloated.

I foresee this helping me clean up my diet and be more cognizant of what I am eating. I have a problem with binge eating and take away those things that trigger it and the problem starts to disappear as does the urge.

I would like to hear from others for any good bloggers/websites for gluten/dairy free. Favorite recipes, restaurants etc. open to it all! 

Just 2 months and 3 weeks to see if any of this helps clear things up. 

Le sigh.