Monday, August 31, 2015

Summer Don't End.

I am in denial that tomorrow is September. 

Everyone is all rush rush rush to fall and I am over here team make summer slow down.

This one has been a total whirlwind, and also when I finally started to regain my health. I think that is why I am so eager for it to stay, this summer has been so cathartic for me. 

I went from hiding myself during my Crohn's flare, and being anti social to feeling like I have my life back. 

I have been on a few vacations, run hundreds of miles, lazy days at the beach, wine tours, happy hours, brunches...the list goes on and on - and it has been amazing. 

I am not ready to trade in the warm days just yet. And you will never hear a peep out of me about the heat or humidity. 

This is the girl who refuses to get AC in NYC. I have gotten by with a couple fans just fine. 

So let's all stop this I CAN'T WAIT FOR FALL stuff, please?

I want to live in bikini's and sundresses forever. 

Because remember how quickly fall turns to winter...and there is nothing I dread more than taking the wool coats out of their plastic for the next season. 

#NeverEndingSummer please. 

Monday, August 17, 2015


How is it half way through August? This is depressing that summer is almost over. And can we take a moment to discuss how I am now waking up to darkness? I miss the days when the sun was already rising when I woke at 5 something. Now I am back to walking out the door for my run and darkness. Wah.

I am sitting here Monday morning, with so much happiness after another lovely weekend and also with my second large coffee of the day. The struggle was real during my 6 miles this morning.

Although that might be more to do with the fact that I drank my weight in wine yesterday and was sweating out rose ;)

But anyways it was too great of a weekend not to recap!

Started off with a long run and almost dying. #dramatic #notjoking

I do all my runs fasted and without fueling. I woke to my stomach a little rumbly (looking at you Friday night wine) and took off – and about ½ a mile in I was hungry. I knew it was going to be tough. I ran a newish route and while it was gorgeous, holy hot one. 

No filter needed for that blue sky.
I was saved a couple times.

First by this mirage that appeared at 6 miles when things were about to get bad (seriously wine the night before a long run is always a toss up, and stupid - I like testing the boundaries of a sensitive stomach + Crohn's).

A beautiful sight. Seriously. 
And then the marina being opened at mile 8.

I have never drank a bottle of powerade zero so fast. Not to mention I hate the stuff usually. But coincidence that my splits dropped after some fluids? I think not.

But 11 successful miles in the books. 

I showered, grabbed some foods and all the drinks and headed out to Long Beach for the day. 

Recovery done right. #amIright ?!

Then dinner (errr dessert?) was this. Seriously – s'mores pizza. So wrong, yet so right.

Sunday was up bright and early and in the city for a day of Vineyard touring!

We stopped at Osprey’s Dominion, Duck Walk and Jason’s.

I shall let the photos speak for themselves. It was an AMAZING day. Okay, any day with wine and sunshine makes me happy but seriously; it was a well run tour and went pretty smoothly. I definitely recommend the Hampton Luxury Liner tour (the one that keeps popping up on Groupon/Living Social etc.) I would do it again!

Can I live here?
Because wine on the bus when you have 5 minutes between Vineyards.

And then, the weekend was over and Monday morning reality slapped me in the face.

Let’s just hope this week flies by because this weekend coming up is one I have been looking forward to for a year, Lindsay is getting married. And in honor of that I am sharing one of my all time favorite photos.

Happy Monday, hope you had a fantastic weekend! 

Friday, August 14, 2015

A Little 'Crohn's Life' Update

Happy Friday people!

So I have been putting off an update because things are kind of up in the air right now with this whole Crohn’s thing.

The short story is, I am still not in remission as a scope last week confirmed.

The other part of this is, that I am feeling the best that I have felt in year(s).

Like, seriously – can we just look at how much I am running these days? Team no rest days over here. (I am taking one Sunday I know I know I need to – and a day of Vineyard Touring is a perfect excuse, am I right?).

 On track for another 40+ mile week once I do my long run tomorrow


These morning views, be still my heart. I have missed waking to the sun rise and pounding the pavement.

I honestly don’t know what “remission” will feel like or if I will ever go a day the rest of my life without feeling a little “off” at some point. What I do know is that if the way I am feeling on a daily basis the past few weeks is how I could continue to feel; I am okay with that.

I am tapering off of prednisone finally after a couple months back on it, since it wasn’t effective. But I still have bleeding in my lower GI which is frustrating, so I am on a new steroid. So there is that.

I have a remicade infusion next week – and don’t seem to have any serious breakthrough symptoms which is fantastic I think. BUT the bleeding part has my doctor considering an antibody test to see if the remicade is still the best course of action to continue.

Honestly, I am scared to go off of the remicade or switch because I feel well so to me it seems like it is working (he has another drug that is also infused that he would consider instead). But apparently you can’t have internal bleeding and ulcers forever or cancer risks are raised, sigh.

Also the iron infusions have worked WONDERS. I go back to my hematologist today for an update and probably one more infusion since there is still bleeding but my hair has stopped falling out in clumps and I have stopped craving ice (which I never knew was a symptom of anemia but my father the dentist is beyond happy that habit is broken!). I still need lots of sleep to function but there is definitive progress. Anemia is one hell of a bitch and happy to feel improvement.

So that is all I’ve got.

On one hand, I FEEL HEALTHY (I better pray to god I am not jinxing myself). The past 10+ months of an active flare sucked. Like royally sucked. People do not take health for granted. I think that is why I am having such a hard time taking a day off from running. I had the life sucked out of me for so long that each day I just want to embrace and the thought of being idle and not taking advantage seems absurd.

I think deep down I am fearing a relapse will happen and need to get out of that mindset. We are still figuring out how to get me to 100% and remission but for now, good lord, I am happy.

Thank you to everyone for your support, I love all the messages and kind words. More appreciated than I could even say.

Monday, August 10, 2015

A Perfect Saturday

I think I was looking forward to Saturday for the better part of a month. 

NYC's Summer Streets is one of my favorite things of summer - and although was excited for my Montauk weekend - I was sad to miss a week of it. 

So all last week was eagerly awaiting it. 

It has been no secret that I have been a slave to the treadmill as I have come out of this Crohn's flare - and having access to rest stops and open road was very very appealing to me. 

I woke up before my alarm and at 6:55 was on the train into the city. 

I quickly dropped a bag at the gym and was off and running. 

And the day did not disappoint. 

The weather felt perfect, it was early so it wasn't too crowded, and god I was just HAPPY. 

Just look at it! 

I decided to run over the Brooklyn bridge and on the way back decided to drop the pace because I was feeling good and tempo a bit. 

I was using map my run because my Garmin is all sorts of f'ed up (probably rebelling me trying to charge it and use it after so long, haha!). And was NOT trusting the splits. So I asked this gentleman I was pacing off what he was doing and he said 8:30ish so I guess it was right! 

I stopped twice for water but other than that I just RAN. People, never ever take that for granted. If I have learned nothing it is that I love to run, and being able to run healthy is a blessing. 

Anyways sorry for the cheesy stuff but necessary. 

So I finished my run of awesomeness at a sub 9 pace. I still don't 100% trust it but I do know that I am feeling more confident to run some half's this fall. Not trying to PR or anything but run them not stopping every two miles. 

Then I headed home to NJ to the parents for some R&R and it was fabulous. Long run recovery done right!

Rounded out to be quite the perfect day! 

Thank you Summer Streets!

Monday, August 3, 2015

I Just Want to Run ALL the Miles

It has been no secret that I have been on the struggle bus trying to get my Crohn's into remission. 

While I learned last Monday we still are not there (and still waiting on some labs on if we are changing treatment - but that is for a different day) I can say I feel SO much better. 

It is actually hard to know I am not in remission considering how I feel - which only means - I will feel even BETTER once we get it handled, right? Logical assumption?

But anyways. The point is, my running has gotten pretty glorious. 

I am running sub 10 minute miles easily - when in June I was hovering in the 11+ territory most times and also running to the bathroom every 2-3 miles. 

Now, I can count on one hand the runs interrupted with bathroom breaks and both occasions were due to me being an asshole with food choices. 

I don't think I will ever be able to consume sugar and feel well (one was induced by a jelly bean binge, wah) but I will be a-okay knowing a trigger and not being a jerk. 

Last week culminated the end of a very happy month of running. 

I realized after a short run yesterday turned into an 11 miler that I finished off the week with 46 miles! And, no rest days. Oops. 

I was progressing so nicely and cautiously then BOOM 33 miles to 46 miles...that's not a 10% increase, is it?

But I've had plenty of rest days. 

My legs are feeling amaaaazing and you know what, I am just going to run with it! 

As I may have done on another attempt at a short run today which turned into 7.5 miles... 

But THE most exciting part is that I FINALLY ventured outside. 

I was in Montauk and woke up Saturday planning to just walk for a while because it was to be my rest day - and then just got caught in the moment of the scenery, the beautiful morning and ran. 

6 awesome, insanely happy, miles. You can understand my inspiration here: 

And you know what, I was FINE. Stomach was a-okay. I survived. 

This is a bit cheesy but it was an emotional moment for me. I have been so terrified of running outside and then conversely terrified that I would never be able again to summon the nerve that I teared up at the end. 

For some perspective it was my first significant run outside since NYCM and my flare going nuts. I have run to and from the gym a bit but have been scared to lace up and go.

On top of that it was hot and a bit humid and I was without much effort running 9:30 - 10ish pace - I had no expectations of where I would be after so much treadmill running so was pleasantly surprised.

There is hope after all. I am feeling more and more like my old self with every passing day and I just want to hold on to this and take advantage. 

Having been stripped of my health for such a long period of time and I am just embracing this. And if that means running every day because I feel well enough to and I want to - then bet your ass you will find me running. 

I've missed this and am hoping it is here to stay.