Summer Don't End.

I am in denial that tomorrow is September. 

Everyone is all rush rush rush to fall and I am over here team make summer slow down.

This one has been a total whirlwind, and also when I finally started to regain my health. I think that is why I am so eager for it to stay, this summer has been so cathartic for me. 

I went from hiding myself during my Crohn's flare, and being anti social to feeling like I have my life back. 

I have been on a few vacations, run hundreds of miles, lazy days at the beach, wine tours, happy hours, brunches...the list goes on and on - and it has been amazing. 

I am not ready to trade in the warm days just yet. And you will never hear a peep out of me about the heat or humidity. 

This is the girl who refuses to get AC in NYC. I have gotten by with a couple fans just fine. 

So let's all stop this I CAN'T WAIT FOR FALL stuff, please?

I want to live in bikini's and sundresses forever. 

Because remember how quickly fall turns to winter...and there is nothing I dread more than taking the wool coats out of their plastic for the next season. 

#NeverEndingSummer please. 

Weekending.

How is it half way through August? This is depressing that summer is almost over. And can we take a moment to discuss how I am now waking up to darkness? I miss the days when the sun was already rising when I woke at 5 something. Now I am back to walking out the door for my run and darkness. Wah.

I am sitting here Monday morning, with so much happiness after another lovely weekend and also with my second large coffee of the day. The struggle was real during my 6 miles this morning.

Although that might be more to do with the fact that I drank my weight in wine yesterday and was sweating out rose ;)

But anyways it was too great of a weekend not to recap!

Started off with a long run and almost dying. #dramatic #notjoking

I do all my runs fasted and without fueling. I woke to my stomach a little rumbly (looking at you Friday night wine) and took off – and about ½ a mile in I was hungry. I knew it was going to be tough. I ran a newish route and while it was gorgeous, holy hot one. 

No filter needed for that blue sky.

I was saved a couple times.

First by this mirage that appeared at 6 miles when things were about to get bad (seriously wine the night before a long run is always a toss up, and stupid - I like testing the boundaries of a sensitive stomach + Crohn's).

A beautiful sight. Seriously. 

And then the marina being opened at mile 8.

I have never drank a bottle of powerade zero so fast. Not to mention I hate the stuff usually. But coincidence that my splits dropped after some fluids? I think not.

But 11 successful miles in the books. 

I showered, grabbed some foods and all the drinks and headed out to Long Beach for the day. 

Recovery done right. #amIright ?!

Then dinner (errr dessert?) was this. Seriously – s'mores pizza. So wrong, yet so right.

Sunday was up bright and early and in the city for a day of Vineyard touring!

We stopped at Osprey’s Dominion, Duck Walk and Jason’s.

I shall let the photos speak for themselves. It was an AMAZING day. Okay, any day with wine and sunshine makes me happy but seriously; it was a well run tour and went pretty smoothly. I definitely recommend the Hampton Luxury Liner tour (the one that keeps popping up on Groupon/Living Social etc.) I would do it again!

Can I live here?

Because wine on the bus when you have 5 minutes between Vineyards.

And then, the weekend was over and Monday morning reality slapped me in the face.

Let’s just hope this week flies by because this weekend coming up is one I have been looking forward to for a year, Lindsay is getting married. And in honor of that I am sharing one of my all time favorite photos.

Happy Monday, hope you had a fantastic weekend! 

A Little 'Crohn's Life' Update

Happy Friday people!

So I have been putting off an update because things are kind of up in the air right now with this whole Crohn’s thing.

The short story is, I am still not in remission as a scope last week confirmed.

The other part of this is, that I am feeling the best that I have felt in year(s).

Like, seriously – can we just look at how much I am running these days? Team no rest days over here. (I am taking one Sunday I know I know I need to – and a day of Vineyard Touring is a perfect excuse, am I right?).

 On track for another 40+ mile week once I do my long run tomorrow

And OUTSIDE.

These morning views, be still my heart. I have missed waking to the sun rise and pounding the pavement.

I honestly don’t know what “remission” will feel like or if I will ever go a day the rest of my life without feeling a little “off” at some point. What I do know is that if the way I am feeling on a daily basis the past few weeks is how I could continue to feel; I am okay with that.

I am tapering off of prednisone finally after a couple months back on it, since it wasn’t effective. But I still have bleeding in my lower GI which is frustrating, so I am on a new steroid. So there is that.

I have a remicade infusion next week – and don’t seem to have any serious breakthrough symptoms which is fantastic I think. BUT the bleeding part has my doctor considering an antibody test to see if the remicade is still the best course of action to continue.

Honestly, I am scared to go off of the remicade or switch because I feel well so to me it seems like it is working (he has another drug that is also infused that he would consider instead). But apparently you can’t have internal bleeding and ulcers forever or cancer risks are raised, sigh.

Also the iron infusions have worked WONDERS. I go back to my hematologist today for an update and probably one more infusion since there is still bleeding but my hair has stopped falling out in clumps and I have stopped craving ice (which I never knew was a symptom of anemia but my father the dentist is beyond happy that habit is broken!). I still need lots of sleep to function but there is definitive progress. Anemia is one hell of a bitch and happy to feel improvement.

So that is all I’ve got.

On one hand, I FEEL HEALTHY (I better pray to god I am not jinxing myself). The past 10+ months of an active flare sucked. Like royally sucked. People do not take health for granted. I think that is why I am having such a hard time taking a day off from running. I had the life sucked out of me for so long that each day I just want to embrace and the thought of being idle and not taking advantage seems absurd.

I think deep down I am fearing a relapse will happen and need to get out of that mindset. We are still figuring out how to get me to 100% and remission but for now, good lord, I am happy.

Thank you to everyone for your support, I love all the messages and kind words. More appreciated than I could even say.

A Perfect Saturday

I think I was looking forward to Saturday for the better part of a month. 

NYC's Summer Streets is one of my favorite things of summer - and although was excited for my Montauk weekend - I was sad to miss a week of it. 

So all last week was eagerly awaiting it. 

It has been no secret that I have been a slave to the treadmill as I have come out of this Crohn's flare - and having access to rest stops and open road was very very appealing to me. 

I woke up before my alarm and at 6:55 was on the train into the city. 

I quickly dropped a bag at the gym and was off and running. 

And the day did not disappoint. 

The weather felt perfect, it was early so it wasn't too crowded, and god I was just HAPPY. 

Just look at it! 

I decided to run over the Brooklyn bridge and on the way back decided to drop the pace because I was feeling good and tempo a bit. 

I was using map my run because my Garmin is all sorts of f'ed up (probably rebelling me trying to charge it and use it after so long, haha!). And was NOT trusting the splits. So I asked this gentleman I was pacing off what he was doing and he said 8:30ish so I guess it was right! 

I stopped twice for water but other than that I just RAN. People, never ever take that for granted. If I have learned nothing it is that I love to run, and being able to run healthy is a blessing. 

Anyways sorry for the cheesy stuff but necessary. 

So I finished my run of awesomeness at a sub 9 pace. I still don't 100% trust it but I do know that I am feeling more confident to run some half's this fall. Not trying to PR or anything but run them not stopping every two miles. 

Then I headed home to NJ to the parents for some R&R and it was fabulous. Long run recovery done right!

Rounded out to be quite the perfect day! 

Thank you Summer Streets!

I Just Want to Run ALL the Miles

It has been no secret that I have been on the struggle bus trying to get my Crohn's into remission. 

While I learned last Monday we still are not there (and still waiting on some labs on if we are changing treatment - but that is for a different day) I can say I feel SO much better. 

It is actually hard to know I am not in remission considering how I feel - which only means - I will feel even BETTER once we get it handled, right? Logical assumption?

But anyways. The point is, my running has gotten pretty glorious. 

I am running sub 10 minute miles easily - when in June I was hovering in the 11+ territory most times and also running to the bathroom every 2-3 miles. 

Now, I can count on one hand the runs interrupted with bathroom breaks and both occasions were due to me being an asshole with food choices. 

I don't think I will ever be able to consume sugar and feel well (one was induced by a jelly bean binge, wah) but I will be a-okay knowing a trigger and not being a jerk. 

Last week culminated the end of a very happy month of running. 

I realized after a short run yesterday turned into an 11 miler that I finished off the week with 46 miles! And, no rest days. Oops. 

I was progressing so nicely and cautiously then BOOM 33 miles to 46 miles...that's not a 10% increase, is it?

But I've had plenty of rest days. 

My legs are feeling amaaaazing and you know what, I am just going to run with it! 

As I may have done on another attempt at a short run today which turned into 7.5 miles... 

But THE most exciting part is that I FINALLY ventured outside. 

I was in Montauk and woke up Saturday planning to just walk for a while because it was to be my rest day - and then just got caught in the moment of the scenery, the beautiful morning and ran. 

6 awesome, insanely happy, miles. You can understand my inspiration here: 

And you know what, I was FINE. Stomach was a-okay. I survived. 

This is a bit cheesy but it was an emotional moment for me. I have been so terrified of running outside and then conversely terrified that I would never be able again to summon the nerve that I teared up at the end. 

For some perspective it was my first significant run outside since NYCM and my flare going nuts. I have run to and from the gym a bit but have been scared to lace up and go.

On top of that it was hot and a bit humid and I was without much effort running 9:30 - 10ish pace - I had no expectations of where I would be after so much treadmill running so was pleasantly surprised.

There is hope after all. I am feeling more and more like my old self with every passing day and I just want to hold on to this and take advantage. 

Having been stripped of my health for such a long period of time and I am just embracing this. And if that means running every day because I feel well enough to and I want to - then bet your ass you will find me running. 

I've missed this and am hoping it is here to stay. 

A - Z Survey

Because I need some help these days blogging. And anyone who actually reads this deserves more than me bitching about my Crohn's problems. Not sure this is any better BUT enjoy ;)

A – Age: 34. I do not think I am old, but some times I sit here and am like wait, 34? I feel years younger. Life moves way too fast.

B – Biggest Fear: Failure. As in professional. I have spent my life working my ass off between college and graduate school. My career path is a bit crooked and I fell into the field of TV news 2 1/2 years ago and now have plans for network domination. Slight exaggeration. Kind of. Not really. Career aspirations have always been to be at the top previously it was in event planning and now it is in news. It will happen. The want for success has a fire under my ass. 

C – Current Time: 10:34pm. I don't know why I am still up. I have had the longest day ever. (edit: That was Friday night, it is now Sunday morning at 10:45, typical).

D – Drink You Had Last: Coke Zero. Some times I can't help the craving. Although lately it has been a few times a week. Oops. 

E – Easiest Person To Talk To: my Dad. We are basically the same person. He is calm, straight forward and rational. He is not emotional but he is empathetic. He is also very much like me in that he looks at the WHY behind things. He has been so phenomenal and supportive with my Crohn's diagnosis because we are both research and science oriented. I had one MAJOR phone meltdown in the beginning and he knew I just had to cry it out for a moment and didn't spend every subsequent conversation questioning my sanity (my poor mom on the other hand can't just let me be upset for 10 minutes and then realize I am over it and move on. I am a frustration crier). 

F – Favorite Song: SO MANY. I attach music to memories and can remember very specifically what was happening for so many songs. But one that just popped up on my playlist is from 1985: Survivor - The Search is Over and true story at 4 years old I declared this would be my wedding first dance song. God bless the man that ever marries me ;) 

G – Grossest Memory: I had a cyst on my tailbone that was basically the size of a baseball and had to be drained. Twice. Prior to surgery. I gag still thinking about it. It fascinated yet disgusted me at the same time. 

H – Hometown: Belmar, NJ is where I was born BUT moved to Warren, NJ when I was 9 and only spent summers in Belmar after so more consider Warren "home"

I – In Love With: at this very moment - how gloriously less humid these nights have been. No AC hasn't been an issue one bit! 

J – Jealous Of: non city life. My work and such requires big city living BUT some times I wish I could move to some small town in the country somewhere and live a simple slower paced life.

K – Kindest Person You Know: I have a few people in my life that are amazing can't call out just one.

L – Longest Relationship: My parents have been married 30 years! with a 17 year age difference. 

M – Middle Name: Nicole.

N – Number of Siblings: 2

O – One Wish: for the Crohns'ing stuff to end. and to feel 100%. too much to ask?

P – Person You Spoke To On The Phone Last: someone for work. never. ends. 

Q – Question You’re Always Asked: "why do you work out so much".

R – Reason To Smile: Life. No matter what, stop and realize that even when things are tough we are blessed to live the life we live in this country.

S – Song You Last Sang: Foo Fighters "Best of You" 

T – Time You Woke Up: 7:00am. After 4 5:00am days and long work days my body called mercy and tapped out of a morning workout.

U – Underwear Color: I am in pj's so do boy shorts count? Red.

V – Vacation Destination: I have not traveled at all. So basically the world.

W – Worst Habit: chewing ice. I only do it at home but my dad the dentist berates me constantly. Plus it is annoying. On the other side, my hematologist said that chewing ice is a sign of anemia so maybe there is hope?!

X – X-Rays You’ve Had: hmm foot, nose and teeth. I think that is all?

Y – Your Favorite Food: I think it depends on the day. I get obsessed with something for a while then move on. Lately I am rather bored with all foods since I am trying to be nice to my gut. I suppose there is always peanut butter! 

Z – Zodiac Sign: Aquarius.

TOL: Random Rambles

There shall be no rhyme or reason to what floats out of my head today! Welcome to some ramblings! Linking up again with Amanda for some TOL action! 

1. How is it July 9th? I have no idea where this year has gone. And I feel like summer is going to be gone in the blink of an eye. I luckily have a little trip planned for the end of the month and am in one of my BFF's weddings at the end of August so still a lot to look forward to; but I feel like Labor Day will be here before we know it. 
2. My daily weight fluctuation amuse me. Yes I weigh myself daily. Lately more to do with monitoring hydration when I run (my gym is basically the same temp as outdoors and I have been sweating buckets so trying to manage that). An example, I was 6 lbs lighter yesterday than today. I laugh. And I also laugh when others will be like: I lost x amount of pounds in a day. LOL. I want to give them a crash course in science. You didn't. 
3. Does anyone else get anxiety when they have someone coming to clean their apartment about getting it clean before they clean or is that just me? I am already a neat freak but I have my service coming tonight and had to make sure everything was perfect when I left this morning. I have issues, I readily admit this. I don't think I will ever be able to share a home with someone again. 
4. Remember that wedding stress - now that I have basically paid for everything for them I am so less stressed. Now to just recoup and save so I can go on the cruise I want. Solo. Yup heard that right, I plan on taking a trip on my own and just relishing in doing whatever I want. Also if peeps have cruise advice send it my way. Never been! 
5. My GI doc has finally decided I need to get IV iron infusions. I get super happy to get locked up with a needle for Remicade but this even makes me happier! I am f*cking exhausted 24/7 and after last weeks blood panels came back - my iron levels went down back to basically zero, and he has me going to a hematologist next week to begin the process (I've been on iron supplements for 6+ months but obviously not working + they cause GI distress not fun on top of already tons of it!). Dealing with anemia is no joke. I am vainly concerned with my hair loss I feel like I lose so much daily - I don't want to go bald. 
6. So I am also back on PREDNISONE (and writing that reminded me to take it). Argh. But since remicade isn't fully working to remission they are hoping a short tapered dose does the trick. I have not lost my shit, YET, but I am hanging on by a thread and feel like a melt down is in the works :) 
7. I have never been more thankful for work being busy. And my boss being so understanding. Seriously, I have the best boss. Between his trust in me at work and his attitude in making sure my health comes first, I am lucky. I have guilt on guilt over how much Crohn's has interfered with work and doctors appointments and just needing sick days but he has always said, whatever needs to be done, do. But like last week remicade was moved to 9am so I came in at 6am to make up those 3 hours I would be gone. Not the best move in retrospect because I exhausted myself (and probably contributed to being sick for the 4th) but that is just the Type A person in me coming out. 
8. I am going strong on not giving into buying an AC unit for my apartment. At this point I look at that money and some of the things I want to do and am like, I will WIN! Gianna - 1, Summer - 0  I am just happy my hair is straightened so it air dries fantastically because blow drying is not happening. 
9. I have been creeping up on the 30 mile mark for mileage per week and being that I am shackled to the treadmill I have finally started to add some "hill" work into my routine. Well, once. This week. And my legs felt the burn so let's hold off before we say this is becomes routine I suppose, lol. 
10. I THINK I found the perfect dress for my sisters wedding. She is not having bridesmaids but my sister and I are her witnesses and she told us long and black and I found a FABULOUS Chan Luu from Calypso St. Barth - now waiting on it's arrival and if it fits. 

Luckily I am going to stop there for you, but I could go on and on and on. Hope everyone is having a fabulous week and hallelujah it is almost the weekend!