I had been more or less just avoiding analyzing my 2013 or recapping in any sort of way when DailyMile sent the year end report.
And again I have to realize while my goals didn't pan out the way I wanted I had done oh so much.
I had a really kick ass 2012.
I trained my way not really knowing what I was totally doing minus running all the miles to a 13 minute half marathon PR. I went from a 2:07 in the spring of 2012 to a 1:54 in my first half of the fall.
And then I consistently ran sub 2 hour half marathons that fall amidst awful stomach issues (that still haven't been resolved) capping off my fall racing with a shiny new PR 1:53 WITH a bathroom stop along the way. I was so close to going under 1:50 I could taste it.
So I made it my 2013 goal to go after it.
And continually failed miserably. The closest I got was 2:02 in an awful awful race.
But things I did do. Run my first marathon. Then another. Oh, and then an Ultra.
So then after an awesome spring of achieving new distance PR's I figured, train my butt off for a sub 4 hour marathon.
Again, disappointment. I got a coach, who has taught me oh so much. I seemed ready for it.
Then the DNF at Hartford. Getting sick. Running NYCM sick and realizing that I just didn't have it in me to try and redeem myself at the end of the season at Palm Beaches. I was tired. Both mentally and physically. I just had no desire to run. The fun and want were sucked out some where along the lines of training non stop for a couple of years.
So, I decided to just not run if I didn't want to. And that is what I am doing. I have been running according to my desire. And to be 100% honest there are rarely days when I am DYING to run. That passion is yet to be totally reinvigorated. However, I am starting to try and get in some. Because maybe I am running a half marathon February 2nd and oh yeah a 10 miler this weekend. And guess what NOTHING will train you for running except running. Sorry Flywheel.
But when it all comes down to it. 2013 can be looked at as the year that I totally missed all my goals. And it stings a little. Especially given the fact that I somehow coached myself, not knowing what I do now, the previous year to times I can't even touch right now.
Or I can look at it as the year I conquered so much. 3 marathons and an ultra and a million and a half other races.
Depends on the day how I choose to view it.
Regardless. I am taking a whole different approach this year. More on that later...but I sometimes wish that I could really stop being so hard on myself. I don't think that will ever change but it would be nice to give myself a break. I think I finished every marathon and within minutes didn't want to wear the medal and was just thinking...wow I should have done better.
Such is life of the type A goal oriented person that I am. Can always do better. It's a good mentality because I always push myself but hard because it is really hard to please myself. I hit a goal and then think: I can do BETTER.
So see ya later 2013. Hello to a bright new shiny year. Hopefully with some PR's thrown in there.
I hope you don't view 2013 as a failure at all. Not only did you run multiple marathons, half marathons, and an ultra, you learned something important about yourself and running. It's so easy to view our running "careers" as something that's key to make perfect right now, but just like our actual careers, running will span our lives (hopefully). Not every year will include PRs, but if we can learn how we're happiest running, that will contribute to many years of solid, enjoyable running :)ReplyDelete
It definitely doesn't always go as we hope! But running has it's ups and downs, hopefully 2014 will surprise you with lots of good things! :)ReplyDelete